Cresent Moon
by babe4catastrophe
Summary: Newmoon in Edwards POV. What if Edward did more while he was away? what if he went to Denali what if another vampire loves well rather lusts after him? [[about to be moved to a shared account between musicalvampire13 and emovampire106!]]
1. A Celebration

**_Authors note:_ Ok so this story is _Newmoon_ in Edward POV. Hope you like it. This is my first fanfiction. ****Read and Review please.**

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT OR NEWMOON.**

_I'm so excited! Bella is going to love her gifts! I know she will! And why is _

_Edward driving so slow?_

Edward, go faster!" Alice scolded me from the passenger seat of my shiny silver Volvo, newly waxed I might add.

I glowered at her; I was already pushing 120 mph. But I complied. The reason for her excitement was an occasion we- as in my family in total- haven't celebrated in a while. A birthday. And more specifically, Bella's birthday.

As we slid into the parking lot I heard a voice I my head that was both annoying and annoyed.

Mike Newton.

_Cullen. Ugh. Bet he bought Bella some expensive ring. She'll fall all over him when he gives it to her. But if she fell all over me I'd buy her expensive things for her birthday, too. Come on they've been together for how long? I'll get my chance Cullen. You just wait and see, I will._

An image of Bella thrusting her tongue down Mike's throat popped into my mind. Shudders.

I wanted to strangle him for even thinking he had the right to look at Bella let alone _touch_ her.

"Alice?" My question was bound to scare the shit out of her.

"Yes, Edward?" we had just gotten out of the car now and I was leaning on the hood, waiting for _my_ Bella.

"Have you had a vision of me brutally murdering Newton?" I spat out while running my hands furiously through my hair. I t was all I could do mot to go over the vile creatures car and gouge his eyes out.

He caught my glare and averted his eyes back to Jessica Stanley, who was rambling on in front of him about some stupid date they had had in the past.

Dumbass.

"No, why?" Alice's eyes were wide with terror. She looked like a dear caught in the head lights.

"Because I might just do that."

"What did he do?" she asked. Alice was frightened but she let an edged of anger mask her tone.

"He didn't _do _anything but he's _thinking_ everything." Alice opened her mouth to reply, but was cut off by the rumbling sound that was Bella's truck.

Bella.

It felt like years since I'd seen her though it had only been a matter of days. I ignored Alice and kept my eyes locked on Bella. She had a wary look on her face for a reason I couldn't fathom why.

As she emerged from the sorry excuses for a truck, the look disappeared and a new expression took over… relief?

_She'll love this! God her expressions change quickly! Sad, happy, now back to sad…_

Alice was getting on my nerves. As she skipped toward Bella with a silver wrapped present in hand she sing-songed, "Happy Birthday, Bella."

"Shh!" Bella obviously didn't like this.

Alice, however, was oblivious. "Do you want to open your presents now or later?" They were approaching me quickly.

"No presents." silly Bella.

Finally, Alice caught on. Good job, Alice, golf clap.

"Okay… later, then. Did you like the scrapbook your mom sent you? And the camera from Charlie?"

"Yeah. They're great."

"_I_ think it's a nice idea. You're only a senior once. Might as well document the experience."

"How many times have _you_ been senior?" Bella was always a smart one.

"That's different." Alice's tone was a tad sharper than necessary. When they were a few feet away I extended my hand for Bella's and- like she always did- she took it eagerly.

Tracing her lips I asked, "So, as discussed, I am not aloud to wish you a happy birthday, is that correct?"

"Yes. That is correct." Damn it.

"Just checking. You might have changed your mind. Most people seem to enjoy things like birthdays and gifts."

_But then again Bella is different. She's no like everybody else._

What Alice had just thought sent a wave of good feeling through me. Of course Bella was different. That's why I loved her.

"Of course you'll enjoy it." Alice laughed. "Everyone is supposed to be nice to you today and give you your way, Bella. What's the worst that could happen?"

"Getting older." Bella hissed.

Okay good feeling gone.

"Eighteen isn't very old," she doesn't know where to stop does she? "Don't women usually wait until they're twenty-nine to get upset over birthdays?"

"It's older than Edward." Great, now she was going to compare ages. Uh, Bella, honey, I'm one-hundred and ten years old!

"Technically," Alice shut up already, "Just by one little year though." This seemed to comfort Bella and I made a mental note to thank Alice.

_Oh crap! The party! What time do I get everything ready? Bella! Okay be calm, Mary Alice, be calm._

"What time will you be at our house?" Alice was so subtle.

"I didn't know I had plans to be there."

"Oh, be fair, Bella!" Shut up Alice! "You aren't going to ruin our fun like that, are you?"

"I thought my birthday was about what _I_ want."

I couldn't listen to their bikcering much longer. "I'll get her from Charlie's right after school," She won't protest to me.

"I have to work." Okay, maybe she would.

"You don't actually, I already spoke to Mrs. Newton about it," Alice - being the intelligent being she is - would get Bella out of work. "She's trading your shifts. She said to tell you 'Happy Birthday.'"

"I - I still can't come over. I well, I haven't watched _Romeo and Juliet _yet for English."

"You have _Romeo and Juliet _memorized." Alice countered.

"But Mr. Berty said we needed to see it performed to fully appreciate it - that's how Shakespeare intended it to be presented."

"You've already seen the movie." Alice reminded her. She was very visibly getting irritated.

"But not the nineteen-sixties version. Mr. Berty said it was the best."

An image of Alice brutally dragging Bella behind as she ran at full speed, came to Alice's mind as she spoke. "This can be easy, or this can be hard Bella, but one way or the other..."

THe image started to get violent so I cut in.

"Relax, Alice."

_No!_

"If Bella wants to watch a movie then she can. It's her birthday."

"So there," Bella added.

_Edward?_

Alice eyed me suspiciously.

"I'll bring her over around seven," I assure her. "That will give you more time to set up."

Bella's face fell and Alice giggled like two year old on a pony.

"Sounds good. See you tonight, Bella! It'll be fun, you'll see." She pecked Bella on the cheek and skipped to her first class.

"Edward, please..." Bella started to protest, but I silenced her with a finger.

"Lets discuss it later. We're going to be late for class." And with that we strode off to the nightmare that was high school.

**THANK YOU! thanks for reading the first chapter I know its short but once edward leaves bella they will be longer. R&R! i accept constructive critisism so dont be shy. Is it good, does it suck, should i never upadate as long as i live? Let me know! thanks the next chapter will be up as soon as possible. **

**musicavampire13**


	2. Begining of the End

**Ok sorry i havent updated in like forever! My computer broke down:( Any who i will be starting a new fanfic about bella and edward but u have to wiat for me to post up the prolouge! ****Enjoy this chapter! R&R!**

**MV13!**

* * *

We were in Bella's kitchen now and we had just finished Romeo and Juliet. She and Charlie were eating pizza. While they ate I was deep in thought. 

What had Bella meant when she said 'complicated your existence'? Complicated my existence? Impossible. Bella was what my existence was _about_. She must have said those words out of anger and confusion. She obviously didn't like my plan to follow her into the after life. That is if my kind has an after life.

The Volturi was the best way to go it something was to happen to Bella. I explained to her and that seemed fine to me, until she turned my words around so that I was already gone and she was the one to off herself. I grasped at what she meant but I couldn't agree with her point. Bella was innocent pure, good. I was a vile monster that didn't deserver her. I was worse than that Mike Newton.

How could she believe she was the lesser of us? She was wrong and that was that.

Finally, Bella took the last bite and rose to wash her dish.

"Do you mind if I borrow Bella for the evening?" I hoped he wouldn't. Charlie wasn't fond of me but he didn't dislike me.

_If Bella wants to, that's cool._

"That's fine- the Mariners are playing the Sox tonight. So I wont be any kind of company…. Here." Charlie tossed the camera he got Bella for her birthday, to her.

Bella being Bella didn't catch it, so, naturally I snagged it just inches before it tumbled to the linoleum.

"Nice save. I f they're doing something fun at the Cullen's tonight, Bella, you should take pictures. You know how your mother gets- she'll be wanting to see the pictures faster then you can take them."

"Good idea, Charlie." I handed the camera to Bella and she turned to me and snapped the first picture.

"It works."

"That's good. Hey, say hi to Alice for me. She hasn't been over in a while."

_I miss my angel._

I got a feeling Charlie had a bit of a thing for Alice even if he didn't know it himself.

"It's been three days, Dad." Bella sighed. "I'll tell her."

Charlie dismissed us and I pulled Bella to her truck and opened her passenger door. Knowing full well she had trouble finding my house by the river.

"Take it easy," Bella scolded as we were basically crawling along in her truck.

"You know what you would love? A nice little Audi coupe. Very quiet, lots of power…"

"There's nothing wrong with my truck. And speaking of expensive nonessentials, if you know what's good for you, you didn't spend any money on birthday presents." She warned.

"Not a dime."

"Good."

"Can you do me a favor?"

She was wary now, "That depends on what it is."

"Bella," I sighed, I didn't like explaining the reality of my existence, "the last real birthday any of us had was Emmett in 1935. Cut us a little slack, and don't be too difficult tonight. They're all very excited."

She swallowed but complied.

"Fine, I'll behave."

"I probably should warn you…" she wont like this.

"Please do,"

"When I say they're all excited... I do mean _all_ of them."

"Everyone? I thought Emmet and Rosalie were in Africa." _I _thought she was going to have an anurism right then and there.

"Emmet wanted to be here." I explained.

"But... Rosalie?" she trailed off suggestively.

"I know, Bella. Don't worry she'll be on her best behavior." There was a long silence. I knew she didn't care for Rose and Rose didn't care for her _at all. _What was she thinking? bella was the one and only exception to my gift. I tried a different aprroach now.

"So, if you won't let me get you the Auidi isn't there anything that you'd like for your birthday?"

Her voice was no more than a whisper but I heard her loud and clear. "You know what I want."

Maybe my question wasn't as harmless as I'd thought. "Not to night, Bella. Please."

"Well, maybe Alice will give me what I want."

Now, I had tried to remain calm but _that_ pissed me off. Not at Bella, no, of course not. Alice. Alice has always said she had visions of Bella being a vampire, and I was dead agianst it.

"This isn't going to be your last birthday, Bella." That was a promise I intened on keeping.

"Thats not fair!" Bella hardly yelled at me so that was a sign to just shut up.

* * *

As we pulled up to the house the decorations were everywere. Alice had out done herself. Bella, however, was dreading the very sight of it. 

"This is a party. Try to be a good sport.." If she refused I _would _resort to begging.

But much to my delight she just muttered, "Sure.".

I went around to help her out of the car.

"I have a question," she always did."If I develpoe this film, will you show up in the picture?" How could I be mad? It was amazing how Bella could make me laugh even at thr oddest moments.

_She's here, she's here! _I heard my fanily buzzing about Bella's artrival, which only egged on my laughing.

_Hurry up and bring her in!_

Alice was anxios no doubt. I was lightly chuckling as I opend the door to expose Bella to her nightmare.

"Happy Birthday, Bella!" my family was in estatics.

All but one; Rosalie.

_Oh joy! Here comes the little princess! Ugh, even Emmet is glad to see her!_

After scanning the room filled with presents, decorations, and a cake only Bella would eat, I sensed her tense at my side. And like a reflex, my arm was around her wiast and my lips at her fore head. God she smelled good!

No! I forced the monster inside and commanded it to go deeper and not to resurface agian.

_Poor thing she looks terrifided._

"Sorry about this, Bella. We couldn't rein Alice in." Carlise apologised. Bella smiled timidly at them and then gazed around the room.

_Stop looking at me you disgusting human! Stop! Dont look at Emmet, just becuase I'm not glareing doesn't give you the right to be comfortable around me!_

I was this close to tearing Rosalie into shreds.

Why couldn't she just except that I was in love with Bella? IN-FREAKING-LOVE! Before I could shoot daggers at Rose, Emmets thoughts invaded my mind.

_Has she always been so small? Yeah, I guess so. She hasn'e changed at all. She smells good. Oops! Edward would kill me if I thought that. Are you reading my mind,** Eddie**?_

A picture of Rosalie that I didn't care to see, popped into my head.

I shuddered.

_Ha ha ha! Edward!_

"You haven't changed at all, I expected a perceptible difference, but here you are, red-face just like always." Emmet laughed.

"Thanks alot, Emmet." Bella blushed deeper now.

"I have to step out for a second." He was oh so subtle about winking "Dont do anything funny while I'm gone"

"I'll try."

Alice danced over to Bella and I.

Jasper kept his distance like he always did. I made sure of that. "time to open presents." Alice said. towed Bella to the table that held the cake and presents.

"Alice," Bella began "I know I told you I didn't want anything-"

"But I didn't listen. Open it." She replaced the camera that Bella held and gave her a silver box.

_She complians to much, Edward._

I chuckled lightly and continued to look at my beautiful bella. She had unwrapped the bow and a bewildered expression took on.

"Um... thanks."

Jasper luaghed slightly. "It's a stereo for your truck, Emmets installing it right now so that you can't return it."

Alice had seen that Bella was going to take it back for two reasons, A) she didn't know how to install it and B) it cost alot of money.

Bella smiled with true sincerity, "Thanks, Jasper, Rosalie."

_Don't thank me. I didn't want to get it for you but Emmet insisted._

Rose could be so cold.

"Thanks, Emmet!" Bella called. Emmet only laughed.

"Open mine and Edward's next," Alice held the small wrapped cd.

"You promised." Bella glared. I was about to answer when Emmet burst into the room.

"Just in time!" _Beat that record, Edward!_

He could be sure that I would. I turned to Bella and assured her that I hadn't spent a dime. I tucked back a stray strand of hair and listen to her heart beat beat go into estaticas.

She was so beautiful when she blushed, like a goddess. She turned to face Alice who wuated patiently with the cd in hand.

"Give it to me." she sighed.

_No need to say please._

Bella took the cd and started to unwrap it.

_Blood, _the scent turned my taste buds, _Blood, Bella's, Blood._

"Shoot." she muttered.

_Blood irresistable. AAAAAHHH!!!!!! I need it. No more holding back, I need it, I want it NOW!_

Jasper was gone, the monster we all had inside had replaced him. He hurled himself toward Bella.

"No!" I went for her and got to her first. In the prosses I destroyed the cake, present, flowers, and plates.

Bella flew over the table and I had her pinned down to a mess of crystal plates cutting her open and spilling the most deliosous liquid on the floor. Jasper colided into my back. His growls menacing and I knew the minster had completely taken over.

_Blood. Blood. Blood._

His mind was screaming. Bella had been sliced by the crystal and now blood was pooling at her arm.

Emmet was trying to restrain Jasper. He would succied no doubt but it would be difficult.

Bella looked up a play of emotions acrooss her face.

I crouched over her protective but I heard the monster. He wanted to come back and he was quickly surfacing.

"Blood now! Don't deny yourself! Drink!" The monster commanded me. I bent lower toward Bella. In whispers now I heard, "Drink..."


	3. AUTHORS NOTE! DISCLAIMER!

**DISCLAIMER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT OR NEWMOON!**

**THIS IS FOR ALL THE CHAPTERS!**

**I FORGOT TO PUT ONE ON CHAPTER TWO!**


	4. Answer Me That

**AN! Disclaimer!!!!!! I do NOT! OWN TWILIGHT OR NEWMOON! but i would like you to read my story:)**

* * *

No, I told the monster. I -once agian- forced the monster back inside of my shell of a self. And, of course, seased my breathing. 

"Emmet, Rose, get Jasper outside." Carisle commanded.

Emmet nodded. "Come on, Jasper."

Jasper tried to fight out of Emmets grasp, causing Emmet to put maximum effort into hauling him outside.

I turned to face the monster that was Jasper. But what caught my attention was Rosalies thoughts.

_You claim you love her, Edward. If you love her so much than how long can you keep puting her in danger? How long can you keep risking her life for your pleasure? Answer me that, Edward, answer me that._

And with that she left the room leading Jasper and Emmet outside into the yard.

"I'm so sorry, Bella." Esme was always sorry for what wasn't her fault. It was my fault, I should have left Bella alone along time ago, but I didn't.

"Let me by, Edward." Carisle said with full authority in his vioce. I looked at my Bella once more.

_Edward, step aside, now. She's_ _bleeding and **I** need to examin her arm._

Reluctantly I nodded and moved out of my fathers way. Carisle leaned down and examined Bellas sliced arm. Alice emerged from the darkness now with a towel in her hand. "Here, Carisle."

_Don't over react, Edward. Nothing happend. Don't be rash, please by God, don't be rash._

Carisle rejected the towel. "Too much glass in the wound." Instead he used a strip from Esme's favorite table cloth to wrap Bella's arm. I saw Esme flinch from the damage done.

"Bella," his vioce was soft, "Do you want me to drive you to the hospital, or would you like me to take care of it here?"

"Here, please" Bella's vioce was shaking.

"I'll get your bag," with that Alice submerged back into darkness.

Crisle turned to me now. "Let's thake her to the kitchen table," I nodded and lefted Bellas weightless body.

I wanted to cradle her close to me but was of afriad I might scare her. I wanted to whisper to her how much I loved her, and how sorry I was, but I know I couldn't, though I didn't know why.

"How are you doing, Bella?" Carisle asked.

"I'm fine." She had now gained control of her vioce and irrationally calm. Though, she had a cloth on her exposed blood, it was still just as tempting as ever. _Blood._ We walked into the kitchen and I set her upright in a chair_. Blood_it was calling for me andI wanted so badly to go.

"Just go, Edward." Bella obviosly saw the thirst in my eyes.

"I can handle it." Aleast I hoped I could.

"You don't need to be a hero, Carisle can fix me up without you help. Get some fresh air.", she winced.

"I'll stay." I vowed.

"Why are you so masohistic?"

"Edward," Carisle began, "you may as well go find Jasper before he gets to far. I'm sure he's upset with himself, and I doubt he'll listen to anyone but you right now."

"Yes. Go find Jasper." Bella was a little to eager for my departure.

"You might as well do something usefull." Alice added. No. I didn't want to leave.

_Please, go find him. He need you, Edward, go._

I read the naked panik in Alices eyes. She was right, JAsper needed me. I took one last glanced around the room, and sprinted out the back door. Leaving the most _preciouse _liquid behind, untouched.

The cold wind hit my face renewing my sences and resfreshing my mind. What had I been thinking?

I almost gave into the monster! But the blood. Bella's blood. So thick and so sweet. The monster inside me trembled with the memory. But I couldn't I would never hurt Bella.

Bella.

The mere mention of her name sent shivers through my spine. She was hurt and it was my fualt. Not Jasper's.

Jasper!

I'd almost forgot to search for him. Was he okay? I knew we had almost lost him for good back there but he might be okay, now. The monster might be restrianed.

Yes, go find Jasper.

I willed my legs to carry me as fast and as far as they could. I followed his mind as well as his sent. Jasper was found in no time.

I looked up to find myself in a clearing. The same clearing my family, Bella, and I played baseball in so many lifetimes ago, it seemed. But right infront of me was no sight of joy. It was Jasper. He was torturing himself with guilt. His pain was almost tangible.

_She's Edward's love. Alice's friend. Alice. She must hate me, now I showed weakness. I made a vow not to drink human blood. I made a vow, the vow was for Alice! And I BLEW IT! I wonder if I should leave. Just leave and not return._

I couldn't bare it anylonger. Jasper was taking the blame on to himself. It wasn't his fualt. It was mine! The fualt was to be put on me! Why couldn't anyone see that!

Without thinking my legs were moving towards Jasper. He was sitting in an upright position, leaning on a tree. I stopped a few feet in frony of him, not sure if he wanted company. He looked up and nodded as if reading my mind. I sat down, copying his stance.

"Jasper..." I began. But I was cut off.

"I'm so sorry, Edward. I never ment to hurt her. I should have restrainded, I could have kept it in! But... I... I...I didn't." Stop! I wanted to interupt him but I couldn't. Maybe he just needed to get the guilt out. Even if it was kisplaced. The monster took over, that we couldn't deny.

"Jasper, none of that was your fualt. It was mine. I know how irresistable her blood is, believe me I know. So don't worry about apologizing. And about Alice, well, she doesn't hate you, nor does Bella. They're both worried about you more than anything. So don't even try to blame yourself. Please."

Jasper was dumb struck.

_He's not mad at me? I tried to kill his girlfriend and he blames himself? But Alice isn't mad at me. Alice isn't mad at me!_

"No, Jasper, Alice isn't mad at you." I explained.

"Thank you ,Edward."

"For what?" What could he possibly thank me for? I didn't do anything right?

"For not hating me." True sincerety rang in every word that I did not protest. I didn't hate him. but he shouldn't thank me for it.

"Bella doesn't hate you either." I reminded.

"I know." there was a long silence, but his mind was blocked off. "She loves you, you know. More than you think she does. More than you think you deserve."

He didn't have to say her name, I knew he ment Bella. "Yes, I know." I sighed.

"Do you?"his vioce was almost harsh,"Then why do you always feel surprised or fustrated when she excepts you? She feels safe around you, Edward. She needs you."

No, Bella didn't need me. She needed someone who never had to fight off the urge to kill her all the time. She needed some one... human. My thoughts were then interrupted by a calling.

"Edward? Jasper? Emmet? Rosalie?... Somebody?" Alice, she had obviosly given up and decided to find us.

"Over her, love!" Jasper called back to her. She made her way across the clearing towards Jasper and I.

"Jasper." she sighed.

_Edward, go back to Bella. She should go home now. Jasper and I... are going to stay here for a while. _

I gave her a quizzical look.

_We need to talk._

I didnt move.

_Just GO!_

I complied. The sight of my Bella was too much of a tempting offer.


	5. Car Rides

**Disclaimer: **I DO NOT!!!! OWN TWILIGHT OR NEWMOON!

**An/ writhing this chap was hard! It was the longest chap yet and took forever to write! The next chap will be up soon but will probably be very short! actually it might not be short ... I DONT KNOW!!!!! plz read and review!**

**:) -mv13**

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* * *

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I was just walking in when I heard Carisle. "I suppose I should take you home now." He smiled at Bella.

"I'll do that." I needed a chance to talk to her. Before I either lost it or threw it away.

"Carisle can take me," Bellas insisted. Did she not want to be with me? Was she afriad of me? Damn that inaccesable mind of hers!

"I'm fine." she was _going_ to ride with me. I had to know if what I was doing was right.

"You'll need to change anyway. You'd give Charlie a heart attack the way you look. I'll have Alice get you something." Lame excuse. Then I left to go find Alice.

_Edward, don't be angry, it wasn't your fault._

Carisle's vioce rang in my ears as I left the room. I sprinted over to the clearing. About halfway there I saw Alice. "Hey, Alice?"

"Yes, Edward? _Let me guess you want me to get Bella some clothes?_

"Can you please? And also, were are Rosalie and Emmet?" Alice gave me that look like 'Do-you-really-want-to-know'? So I decided not to push it. "Oh," was all I mumbled. If I were human I would have blushed like mad.

"Mmmhmm." Alice giggled in reply.

As we were making our way back to the house I couldn't help but notice Alice's mood. I wanted to ask about Jasper, to see if he was ok. But from what I could hear in her thoughts he was a sore subject for her. She wasn't mad at him, or disgusted. Just worried. She was muling over wheter or not to take him to Denali after the week was up. Maybe just for the week end. She couldn't stand to be away from Bella for too, too long. But still my curiosity got the better of me. After debating for what seemed like for ever I finally, and rather bluntly, asked,"So, how's Jasper?"

She didn't need any more motivation than that. _Angry, upset. _"I thinks he's more upset that he showed weakness," _for unfathomable reasons,_"He didn't meen to hurt her."

"Alice, it isn't his fault! Why doesn't anyone see that I'm the one to blame?!" I was furious now Bella was in danger becuase of me! Not anyone elses. Alice and I ran through the back doors now. Alice sprinted to Bella, but I couldn't find the strenght to face her.

"C'mo I'll get you something less macabre to wear." Alice murmured softly. The two glided upstairs, Bella only fell once.

Esme turned to me now. "Edward?"

"Yes?" I sighed; not wanting to have this conversation.

"Edward, look at me." I turned to face my motherly figure. "Don't you dare blame yourself. Nothing happened. It was a closes call, I'll give you that one, but it never ended badly."

"Esme, she's hurt!" I hissed.

"But you saved her. Edward, you prevented a terrible accident-"

"Yeah I saved her. But I had to save her from myself more than anything. I would have killed her so easily!"

"BUT YOU DIDN'T!" she nearly yelled. Both carisle and I were shocked, Esme hardly raised her voice. "I'm sorry, Edward. But you must realize that it isn't as bad as you think it is. Please, grasp that."

I sighed. Just then Bella and Alice flew down the stairs. I held the front door ope, like a gentleman, for Bella.

"Take your things!" Alice called after us. She handed Bella her belongings among them was the half opend disc that Alice and made for her. "You can thank me later when you've opened them."

Bella walked toward esme, Carisle, and I.

"Goodnight." they mumbled in unison. Their thoughts were very much the same; both hopping that I wouldn't over react and do something drastic. Bella and I strode out to the truck in silence. I opened and shut the door like the gentleman she needed. As I got into my side of the truck I couldn't even look at her. Couldn't bare to see the terror in her eyes as she finally realized the monster I truly was. So, I drove. We rode in silence about half way until, finally my angel spoke.

"Say something." she pleaded.

"What do you want me to say?" my vioce was lifeless , like a machine.

"Tell me you forgive me."

_Anger._

It quickly consumes us. Almost devastatingly fast until we forget where we are.

"Forgive _you?_ For what?"

"If I'd been more careful, nothing would have happend."

Oh yes. Consume you it does, until we are filled, until we are no more.

"Bella, you gave yourself a paper cut- that hardly deserves the death penalty."

"It's still my fault." she argued.

And then I broke.

"Your fault? If you'd cut you self at mike newtons house with Jessica there and Angela and all of your other _normal _friends, the worst the could possibly have happened would be what? Maybe they couldn't find you a bandage? If you'd tripped and knocked over a pile of glass plates on your own- without someone throwing you into them- even the, whats the worst? You'd get blood on the seatswhen they drove you to the emergency room? Mike Newton could have held your hand while they stiched you up- and he wouldn't be fighting the urge to kill you the whole time he was there. Don't try to take any of this on yourself, Bella. It will only make me more disgusted with myself."

Now the anger spead to her.

"How the hell did Mike Newton end up in this conversation?"

"Mike Newton ended up in this conversation because Mike Newton would be a hell of alot healthier for you to be with." I bleched at the idea of her being with _any _man but me. But I was right, it was safer.

"I'd rather die than be with Mike Newton. I'd rather die than be with anyone but you." It sounded like a bad line from a soap opera.

"Don't be melodramatic, please."

"Well then don't you be ridiculouse." she scolded.

The silence lasted longer then I thought it would. But I couldn't bare to be the first to break it.

"Will you stay tonight?" Bella finlly spoke once I killed the engine.

I wanted to say 'yes' but knew that I shouldn't. But how could I tell her 'no'? "I should go home." There, not a yes not a no.

"For my Birthday." she persisted.

"You can't have it both ways- either you want people to ignore your birthday or you don't. One or the other." I couldn't be as angry as I had been, but the edge in my vioce was evident.

"Okay. I've decided that I don't want you to ignore my birthday. I'll see you up stairs." she said as she jumped out and reached for her gifts.

"You don't have to take those." I pionted out, knowing she would argue to keep them.

"I wan't them."

"No you don't. Carisle and Esme spant money on you."

"I'll live." she counterd.

"Let me carry them at least," I offered as soon as we were out of the truck. "I'll be in your room."

She gave me a genuine smile. "Thanks."

"Happy Birthday," I sighed and gently met her lips to mine.

She pused the kiss longer and I smiled the smile that made her heart go wild, and then went up around the back to go to her room.


	6. Letting go

**Hello!**

**Ok so I have decided to let a good friend of mine take over this fanfic. She is very good at writing and I know her well enough that I trust she will do a good job. She also updates way more than I do. She will be putting this story onto her account, and finishing it for me. My reason for doing this is that I have lost my own copy for ****Newmoon**** and cannot continue to write. Also I am going through some stuff and can't really have time to write this, it is really difficult not being able to have your own story line. If I had my own story line it would have been so much easier. And last but not least I have started a new fanfic. This one will not be put up online until I have finished writing it so thank you for reading what I have written so far.**

**-mv13**


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